Autumn reading

Autumn. A month for scuffing leaves, apples and plums in profusion, clearing the veg patch of old woody tangled runner beans. Those last few large ones are only fit for the compost however hard I try to cut and slice them. Autumn. Britain steps out of summer time and the evenings draw in. First at 4.oopm then at 3.30pm. It’s hardly worth drawing the blinds, except the winter sun low and bright can lift my spirits in the morning. And there is my dilemma. Joyfully inviting the winter or falling into patches of personal darkness. This is when I reach for and re-read Gwyneth Lewis’s cheerful book about depression. Sunbathing in the Rain. If you live with depression or you live with someone who lives with depression it might just lift your spirits and illuminate things.

‘Depression is internal snow. Black snow. The flakes whirl around like motes in the water around your personal shipwreck. The quicker you dive down to see your sorry state, the better for you in life. For above you, if only you can reach it without getting the bends, are sunshine, laughter on a yacht, the clink of plates as a lunch of steaming fish is handed round.’

© sue orton 2021